Rat Power
and How it Will Succeed
An Original "Tall Tale"
There once was a rat whose name was Trash. Trash lived
in an underground fortress at the top of Mt. Whitney, the
second highest mountain in the United States, elevation
14,496 feet. In his underground fortress Trash had many
rooms filled with his spaceaged inventions and a large
laboratory equipped with all the latest testing and
analyzing gadgets. Trash, at this time, was trying to
perfect a serum of dehydrated water so that just one
drop of this serum could produce a sea of water in a
place like the desert where the Indian reservations
are. This would be a major scientific breakthrough
thought Trash. So Trash went down to the computer
room to see if the computer could help him find a
formula. In half an hour the computer had produced a
formula so that when two chemicals, one a liquid and one
a powder, made contact with each other, they would
instantly make billions of gallons of water. Then Trash
had to go to a vast place to test out his formula. He
picked the Sahara Desert in Africa, and climbing into his
ratjet he arrived on the middle of the desert in
half an hour. Trash had also perfected a liquid
so that when he wanted the water to stop he would
merely have to drop one drop of this liquid onto
the gushing water, and it would stop immediately. So
Trash laid the powder on the ground. Then getting
into his ratjet he flew about 50 feet up in the air
and dumped a large bucket of the solution over the
side of the jet. Instantly, water started up in a
gusher as though he had hit an oil well, and soon the
whole area around him was covered with about two
feet of water. Then Trash poured a teaspoon of the
liquid that would stop the flow of water out of his
jet and onto the well. In an instant the water flow
stopped and soon the desert soaked up the water. Trash
was delighted with his success and flew back to his
fortress immediately to perfect his solution and make
mass quantities of it. After he had finished making
this he got a brilliant idea. He decided that he would
go to the desert in the middle of
America and show the starving Indians what he had
made and try and get them on his side. Then, Trash,
the Indians, and all the rats and their ratjets,
ratmobiles and ratsubs would attack and take control
of the world. So Trash once more got into his ratjet
and sped over to the reservations with his
invention. After the Indians had witnessed the
demonstration, they all joyously agreed to work
with him. Then Trash gave them some of this solution
so they could try to get some strength up before the
attack. Then Trash went back to the fortress to make
the plans. A week later everything was ready. The
full force would attack on Christmas Eve which was
three days away. Trash thought that this would be a
perfect time to attack because everyone would be
drunk and off-guard. So at midnight on December
twenty fifth the door at the top of Mt. Whitney opened
and ten million ratjets flew out. Each ratjet carried
two passengers: one to guide the jet and one to
fire the laser beam at the cities. Then
in all the major sea ports of the world the ratsubs
started up from the bottom where they had been waiting
all day to destroy the docks and ships. And from in
the heart of the cities the ratmobiles came out
destroying everything in their path with a very neat
laser that Trash himself had invented. Trash, at this
time, had flown down to the reservations in his own
ratjet and had freed all the Indians and given them
lasers and other weapons to fight with. Then at four
o'clock in the morning the people decided to give up to
the rats and the Indians. Then Trash invented pills
that you could eat in space to make you be able to
breathe, and he made ten huge rocket ships. He then
made all the people in the world get in these and sent
them to Mars. Then he destroyed all the cities and
anything else that man had ever made except the farms
and let the Indians, the rats and all the other animals
of the world roam freely. And so ends the story of one
of the greatest heroes that ever lived -- Trash.
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